Lifestyle

I have no friends.. and it sucks!

So it’s late(ish) on a Saturday night, the kids are away all weekend.. and I have come to the realisation that I don’t actually have any friends, and that I’m lonely as fuck.

If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll know I was in an emotionally (turned into psychically) abusive relationship for 9 years. Through that relationship I lost any friends I had at the beginning and didn’t really have any chances to gain any along the way.. I was a stay at home mum for 6 years (3 of which I never actually left the house), so I didn’t really have any interaction with other people other than my ex partner and any of his friends.

Roll on (or back) to 2013 and I started working… yay a chance to make new friends… no, because I am socially awkward as fuck. I have no clue how to act around new people, so I’m either perceived as weird or desperately shy. Add in the mix my terrible anxiety and you have a recipe for disaster. Don’t get me wrong, I tried my hardest (and I also didn’t try, though that didn’t work either). I think the fact that I worked where my mum worked didn’t help either, everyone that I could potentially make friends with, was already friends with my mum. And half the time I felt like everyone was only nice to me because of that fact.

I guess that now I’m out of said relationship I feel more alone than ever, I think it’s just hit me how lonely I’ve actually been over the past 9 years. Yes, don’t get me wrong, I love my own company and I don’t get bored by myself. I just need interaction with other people. I need to have a gossip and feel like someone is there for me (and I also want to be a friend for someone else tbh). I don’t want a forced friendship, I just want to find someone that gets me and is like, yes!, we’re gonna get along great!

I have no clue what the point of this post is! It’s not for sympathy or for people to feel sorry for me (because that’s the worst thing ever).. I dunno, I guess once in a while I need a good ramble and to get everything off my chest.

So, pointless rant over.. I am going to bed, where I will forget this post exists until I rock up to do another post.

Goodnight! Kirsty x

 

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8 thoughts on “I have no friends.. and it sucks!

  1. I don’t either, I lost a lot of friends when I moved in with my now-husband for various reasons and now the only friends I have our his friends but I wouldn’t talk to or see them outside of social events where the husbeast brings me along. I work from home so it’s hard to meet anyone, especially as an adult as well. It was so much easier as a kid! I’m naturally introverted and also have issues with anxiety but blogging helps me “meet” people I can chat to at least!

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    1. Sorry for the late reply (laptop issue grr).. I mean this is the kindest of ways, but sometimes is nice to know i’m not the only one who finds it hard to make friends as an adult. I totally agree with it being so much easier as a kid, you could literally walk up to someone and immediately be friends with them haha. I guess i’ll just have to get out of my own comfort zone and figure out ways to meet new people.
      Also agree with ‘meeting’ people through blogging, i’ve had quite a few lovely chats with other bloggers 🙂
      Kirsty x

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  2. I understand this completely! You’re not alone flower, I don’t have any friends now either. Yeah I talk to people at work, but I don’t have any close friends like I used to have! And I miss the girly gossip and chatter too. I’m surrounded by men and mostly older women at work, so it’s not ideal. I wouldn’t know where to start with making new friends now, I feel on edge and worry that I’m not interesting or funny enough.
    I was excited to find a fellow Derby based blogger, I’m just discovering all of the local East Midlands meet ups and events! I hope to see you at one sometime, we can be socially awkward together!

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    1. Firstly, thanks for reading 😁
      Totally the same with talking to people but not having a ‘close’ friendship.. always so envious of other people who seem to find it so easy!
      Making new friends definitely sucks… aww I’m sure your both interesting & funny.. I tend to lean towards the sarcastic side a lot, so people tend not to get that too much 😒
      Awesome, where abouts in derby are you from?? I’ve been to 2 events so far, and they’ve been great, so you’ll have to let me know if you go to any future ones!
      Yes! Haha, someone else to be socially awkward with would be great… oo I have resting bitch face to add to my list of friend making problems 🙈
      Also just followed you on twitter! And having a nosey at your blog in a min xx

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      1. Thanks for following! I’ve had my blog for just over a month now and I’m forever changing it lol there’s so much to learn!
        I was lucky enough to have my name picked for the East Mids Bloggers Christmas event on Nov 1st! Are you going? I relied to Intu Derbys tweet too so hopefully if there is another bloggers event there soon I’ll have a chance to go!
        I’m kinda near Ilkeston, where abouts in Derby are you? I love that there’s so many of us in the Midlands, who needs London eh!
        Haha I don’t have a face that says ‘hey come talk to me’ either so I’m with you on that one! X

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