I have been up and down with this blog for so so long.
It started as an escape from a shitty situation where I wrote about random things sporadically, to me wanting to take it seriously and build up followers and perhaps one day be relevant in a way, to me then not wanting that at all and having no creative energy to put into xoxokiki like I wanted.
I don’t want to keep saying ‘I quit’ and then 2 minutes later say I am back with a plan… Because to be honest looking through my posts I have a gazillion posts that belong either in the I quit pile or the woo I’m back pile and that’s just shitty.
The main reason why I kept quitting was because I felt like I wasn’t good at it, no one really reads it and I didn’t feel like I was getting anything out of blogging. I felt there was no point at all…. Now I’ve dismissed the ideas of not being good enough and realised it was just the fact of not putting time and energy and that little spark into blogging like everyone else does! There are bloggers out there who put real time and energy into the content they create and they have a real love for it, and that is why they are succeeding.
Me… I’m just half arsing it and expecting the rewards to come flooding in.
You can’t half arse things in life and expect everything to be handed to you on a platter, because it doesn’t work like that (although if that is the case for someone then they’re just lucky I suppose).
I have lost total track of the point I was trying to make with this post…. and now I have no clue what the point was to start with.
Oh yes! What do I do? That is the question. A big part of me says keep going at it, take it all back to basics and do it for me. No structure, no time limits, nothing fancy, just me speaking crap about anything and everything. I don’t want to be about numbers (although I’ll probs look and be dissapointed occasionally), and many people will say that is utter crap, that if your’e writing a blog and reviewing things that of course you must be in it for numbers of sorts.. But honestly, I’m just going to use xoxokiki as a scrapbook / diary of sorts. Somewhere where I can share my thoughts on books and other stuff and just be content in the fact that maybe it will just be me who ever reads it.
So, what will I write about then? This is the question I’ve been thinking loads about! As I am a super avid reader I’ll continue with my not so great book reviews, possible random diary-entry type posts and anything else that pops into my head.
Think that’s about it of my random rant about nothing… Truth, I have an essay due tomorrow and I procrastinate to fuck and would rather find something else to do than actually write it (even though I really really need to get on with it otherwise I’ll be buggered).